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  • Writer's pictureMarquita Paulk

2022.

Updated: May 5, 2023

Last year...

We went through SOOO much. I️ would have named 2022 the absolute WORST year of my life. So many different moving parts and I’m going to be as transparent as I️ can so you get the full picture. It was just straight up HARD. From emotional stress, financial stress, physical pain/stress, mental stress, spiritual attacks- the list could go ON and ON and on. It was just HARD. To paint the picture for you I’ll name a FEW instances:

  • I loss one of my best friends in 2022, one who is actually a family member also and who was more like a big sister to me (not to death but it sure did FEEL like it.) I️ have never grieved a broken relationship like I️ did that one. It took MONTHS for me to be "ok." I had to learn to cope with it. #Grief #Bitterness

  • We went from FIVE different sources of income to TWO, with 1 of those being inconsistent. #Fear

  • My husband & I found out we were expecting our third baby right in the middle of a financial slump for our household. Not to mention, my pregnancies have repeatedly been hard on my body. #Fear

  • I was “diagnosed” with chronic hypertension (high blood pressure) at 29 years young, while I️ was pregnant. I even started medication for it (there’s a miracle here too, I shared more about that HERE.) #Fear

  • My husband lost one of his grandmothers last year. It was the first time in our marriage that we’ve dealt with a close family death. We not only had to deal with the emotions of the death of his grandmother but figuring out how to navigate all the emotions from her death was HARD. #Grief

  • My Dad was in the hospital for extended times again last year (those last 2 times were the scariest times for me) the first time he was found unresponsive, the second time he was having hallucinations out of this world. In all honesty, it was scary and didn't "LOOK" good for my Dad...BUT GOD! #Fear

Dealing with alllllllll of that stress while also growing a baby was unimaginable for me. And, yes, I know someone always has it way worse than me, that was just my hard time. Sometimes I️ would just sit around and cry. My spirit was broken, I️ was in distress, trying to smile in front of people but literally BREAKING on the inside. I️ began to isolate myself. I stopped talking to my friends and only talked to family members (other than my household) if they reached out to me. I stopped talking to my prayer warriors. I️ didn't care for myself as much and if I'm 100% honest, I was even angry with God for a while. My personality was drained and for some time, I️ just didn’t care about a lot. It seemed like every time I thought I could MAYBE overcome, I was hit with something else. I️ thought I was depressed at one point (which I️ was even ashamed to admit if it was) but then I️ realized one Sunday in May (May 8th to be exact) as my pastor (Pastor Jay Branch) was preaching that I️ was actually in despair. Which means to be WITHOUT HOPE. That Sunday he came from Luke 13, about a woman from a synagogue who was "double bent over." For 18 years this lady was bent over and could not stand up straight. Jesus saw her, called her over, told her she was healed & touched her. Scripture says INSTANTLY she was healed! Could you imagine how that lady may have been HOPELESS. She endured this for 18 years! EIGHTEEN. But God! 🙌🏾 My pastor talked about how sometimes life will have us feeling like we are "double bent over" but we know Jesus to be a healer! The message truly did something to me that day because I️ was certainly in a hopeless place and felt like life was punching me in the gut over and over and over causing me to be "double bent over" spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. But after THAT Sunday, I️ made up in my mind that I️ would NOT remain in that place. 🙌🏾 I️ found my HOPE again. It didn’t happen overnight, it certainly took some time but I️ slowly began to crawl myself out of the hole that I️ was in. God began to give me strength, I️ rested more because I️ gave it all over to him and truly desired to GROW from it all. Over time my HOPE was reingnited but with a different fire this time!


So, while I would have named 2022 as the WORST year of my life, God showed me that although it FELT like it, it alll somehow works for my good! At the time, I️ was without hope, unable to see past my circumstances, but now looking back I️ can CLEARLY see how last year may have been HARDDDDDDD (the days, weeks, months…) but it wasn’t the worst year of my life. In fact, from a spiritual standpoint it was one of the best, because God was PRUNING me. EVERY SINGLE thing that I endured worked together to birth something NEW in me- spiritually. When I made the necessary change to my attitude surrounding my circumstances, my faith actually INCREASED. I️ can now confidently say yes, 2022 was HARD but it was absolutely NECESSARY for spiritual maturity. Necessary for God to birth something new in me. It was necessary for me to completely RELY on God for EVERYTHING. Did you catch that? EVERYTHING. 2022 was my year of TRANSITION. God was taking me to a new level in him and the transitions that took place last year were necessary for where we’re headed.


I can say with great confidence that WHO you surround yourself with MATTERS! In those hopeless moments when I️ felt like life was caving in- my life could have EASILY gone a different direction but because of who I️ am connected to/surrounded by- that didn’t happen. What do I️ mean? It’s important to surround yourself with like-minded believers because in your weak moments you can draw from their strength (and vice versa.) I’m thankful for a husband who is grounded in the word of God & KNOWS the voice of the Lord and can pray with and for me. He saw me at some of the lowest parts of my life yet he knew to pray for me, pray with me & keep me encouraged. He never let me live in my hopelessness- he kept the faith with me. He urged me to get around other believers too. I’m grateful for my family & friends (who are family) who kept me prayed up & encouraged too. I’m thankful for my church family who also kept me covered in prayer. It's refreshing and all a part of how I️ regained my HOPE!


I said alllll of that to say- God is up to something! Something that only HE will be able to take credit for. Not Marquita or Leonard or anyone else but THE LORD! EVERYTHING that happened (or didn't happen) in 2022 was for a reason. And I️ TRUST HIM! He has never failed me & He won't start now! 🙌🏾



Until next time.


XOXO,




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jus2ofus1998
May 06, 2023

Ah man!!! I can relate to so many of your words!! And this was just a summary of your 2022 experience. The extended version would be a novel! Nevertheless, very well said!🙏🏽💪🏽❤️

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